‘n Bietjie liefde vir die kruidjie-roer-my-nie

In ons hedendaagse samelewing is baie mense so bevrees vir hul toekoms dat hul lewenslus en hoop al kleiner raak. In die werkplek en by die huis kan niemand dink dat hulle nie in totale beheer van alles kan wees nie.

Dit is presies die teenoorgesteldeén dieselfde as om in ‘n oorlewingswaan te wees. Almal word op ‘n afstand gehou met ‘n beleefde, neutrale: “Dit gaan goed, dankie”. Indien iemand hulp aanbied of meer geneentheid van jou verwag klap jy toe soos die kruidjie-roer-my-nie.

'n Kruidjie-roer-my-nie is 'n plant wat by aanraking sy blare vinnig kan toevou. Die Kaapse-kruidjie-roer-my-nie (Melianthus Comosus) is inheems aan Suid-Afrika. Dit is 'n struik wat vinnig groei en wat aromatiese blare het. Die klokvormige blomme is helderrooi met swart kolle aan die hals. Die pragtige plante trek voëls soos suikerbekkies aan. Gewoonlik is die blare snags opgevou en oordag uitgesprei, maar by aanraking kan die plant skielik sy blare toevou.

Nadia, my uitdaging vir jou in 2022 is om dit te waag om ‘n bietjie meer liefde, ondersteuning en vriendskap in jou lewe toe te laat. Laat toe dat die mense om jou kan sien watter pragtige mens jy is. Jy is lief vir ons Hemelse Vader, maar daar is ‘n groot vrees wat veroorsaak dat jy soos ‘n kruidjie-roer-my nie toeslaan as iemand naby jou kom.

Ja, mense kan seer maak en jou teleur stel, maar God se genade is elke oggend nuut, die son sal wel weer skyn en daar is liefdevolle, omgee-mense om jou. Die meeste mense ken nie die wonderlike mense in hul eie lewens nie, want hulle is te besig. Besig om ander vanselfsprekend te aanvaar en ons harte is toegepanser.

As die seer van trauma die lens geword het waardeur jy na die wêreld kyk is dit tyd om die lense skoon te maak of ‘n ander bril te kry. Jy is baie sterker as wat jy vandag voel. Jou gewilligheid om te probeer om mense toe te laat om jou te leer ken en lief te hê sal maak dat jy verander. Jy sal elke keer ‘n bietjie dapperder en wyser wees.

Waar begin ‘n mens? Begin by eenvoudige dinge. Deel wat vir jou mooi is en luister na wat vir ander pragtig is. Dit kan ‘n kleur, ‘n blom, musiek of ‘n dankie wees.

Waag om ‘n bietjie meer liefde en vriendskap in jou lewe toe te laat en onthou 1 Johannes 4:18-19. “Waar liefde is, is daar geen vrees nie, maar volmaakte liefde verdryf vrees, want vrees verwag straf, enwie nog vrees, het nie volmaakte liefde nie. Ons het lief omdat God ons eerste liefgehad het”.

As die uitdaging te moeilik is of die vrees het in jou hart vasgegroei kan ek help. Ek is ‘n oproep ver. Jy kan self ‘n afspraak bespreek sonder enige derde party wat baie vrae vra deur na my webwerf te gaan vir aanlyn- en in-persoon-afsprake.

Ek sien uit daarna om van jou te hoor.

Groete tot volgende keer.

Dr Barbara

Aquilla Advisors cc(Co-owner)

Aquilla Training (Project Leader, Author and Facilitator)

Aquilla Wellness Solutions (Private Practice Owner)

Inter Trauma Nexus (Chief Executive Officer)

Kailo Training Institute (Dean)

Association for Christian Ministries (Co-founder and Project Manager)

Dr Barbara Louw is down-to-earth and easy to relate to because she approaches people in a compassionate and optimistic way. Nonetheless, she achieved multiple postgraduate qualifications and the articles in this section reflect her passion to demystify life issues in such a way that people can grow in wellness. The articles display the following:

• As an experienced counsellor, she explains to her clients how she can help by giving you a basic “road map” to her approach.
• She helps you to find hope and gently encourages you to grow towards healing and wholeness.
• As a consultant to your company, she offers ad hoc and retainer-based solutions-focused advice, training and trauma relief facilitation.
• Her approach in the corporate environment is based on timeous assistance and intervention, followed by appropriate professional intervention.

In the Garden of Life, roses stand as timeless symbols of beauty and resilience. Their delicate petals unfurl amidst sharp thorns, a poignant reminder that growth often accompanies adversity. Similarly, our journey through life is marked by challenges and traumas, yet within those struggles lies the opportunity for resilience and growth.

At the heart of this analogy lies the power of sharing our experiences, both joyful and painful. Just as roses flourish in well-tended gardens, we too can thrive in environments that offer safety and understanding. That’s where my blog and practice come in—to provide a sanctuary for individuals seeking solace and connection amidst life's thorns.

I also create a safe space, where you can share the full spectrum of your humanity—your joys, pains, questions, and prayers. Here, vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength. It’s a place where your stories are honoured, your struggles acknowledged, and your journey validated.

Like a gardener nurturing tender buds, I am here to cultivate an atmosphere of warmth and support. Together, we tend to the soil of our souls, fostering growth and healing. Just as roses draw nourishment from the earth, we draw strength from one another, intertwining our roots to form a resilient community.

In this garden of shared experiences, you are not alone. Here, amidst the blooms and thorns, you will find companionship, understanding, and hope. Together, we embrace the complexities of life, finding beauty even amid adversity.

So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to bloom. Together, we can transform pain into resilience, darkness into light, and thorns into roses. Welcome to a space where your story is not just heard but cherished—a sanctuary where you can bloom, unapologetically, amidst the thorns.

Blessings

Dr Barbara Louw

Personal Counselling Appointments: In-person andOnline.

Hallo Nadia

In ons omgewing is daar die tyd van die jaar ruspes wat ons sommer brandwurms noem. Hulle word gewoonlik verdra as hulle aan die tuinplante kraag, want binnekort verander hulle in papies wat in pragtige vlinders sal ontpop. As daardie goed op ʼn mense se vel kom, is dit ʼn ander storie.

Counselling versus talking to you friend

Talking to a friend may be free of charge, but working with a counsellor will give you the cognitive and therapeutic skills to live a happier life.

When we don’t completely understand what professional counselling is, it’s easy to assume it can’t be more beneficial than talking to a friend. Like a relationship with a friend, seeing a counsellor involves conversing with someone, being vulnerable and maybe receiving advice. If counselling was only about paying someone to let you vent or chat with them, it actually would be a waste of money.

The ‘talking’ aspects of counselling are only a very small part of the therapeutic journey.

Hallo Nadia

As dit rof gaan in ʼn mens se lewe is daar baie onrusbarende dinge wat ʼn mens raaksien. Dit is geen troos om die koerant op te tel of nuus te luister nie. Moord, politieke korrupsie, meningsgevegte en brandstofpryse dra nie by tot my siel se saligheid nie.

Daar is baie verstaanbare en onverklaarbare dinge wat ons harte met vrees kan vul.

Hallo Nadia

Baie dele van ons land het die afgelope tyd reën gekry en dit is asof hele gemeenskappe nuwe hoop gekry het. In sommige dele was daar skade maar die meeste mense is dankbaar vir die reën ten spyte van die verspoeling en oorstroming wat plek-plek gebeur het.

Soms spoel trauma en drama ook so deur ‘n mens se lewe en daarom het ek die webjoernaal na jou vernoem Nadia. Jou naam beteken mos hoop. Saam kan ons hoop in elke situasie innooi.

As ‘n berader het my lewenspad met die van ‘n mense in nood of traumatiese pyn gekruis. Die kontak was soms net ‘n paar uur of selfs vir ‘n paar minute. Vandag kan net ek baie dankie sê vir daardie oomblikke.

As helper hoop en bid jy dat jy ‘n verskil maak aan ander se pyn en lyding. Die werklikheid het my geleer dat elke mens met wie ek in kontak kom aan my hart raak.

Fear, fake news and false facades

The three things that are thriving in the midst of a national disaster are fear, fake news and false facades. People try to cling to the idea that life has to go on as usual in the shadow of grave health concerns.

The reality is that we have to find a new sense of normality in a maze of anxiety-provoking, exaggerated gossip. It is hard to distinguish what is really happening and when are people exaggerating their situation.

Everything that happens is not a potential catastrophe and you don’t have to be in the centre of everyone’s drama. You are allowed to take a step back to take a reality check.

The good news is that people are resilient and much more flexible than we give ourselves credit for. We have used our innovative skills to deal with the shortage of electricity during load-shedding and now our movements are restricted. We have to make last-minute changes to our schedules because meetings get cancelled. We have to change our working hours and reprioritize interactions to fit in with the load-shedding roster.

The COVID-19 pandemic is having a huge impact on households and communities. The way businesses, training institutions and ministries operated do not apply anymore.

Together we have to be creative and resilient to make every day count. In the past, people engaged others in specific styles of communication, for example, marketing-centred or promotional interactions. At this stage, the need for our clients is encouragement and healing-centred engagements.

Much of the cosmetic fluff has weathered and personal interaction and kindness are more important than ever. Customer loyalty is won by the way they are treated during these challenging times.

There are four lifestyle strengths you need to survive and build your business and practice that is relevant now. The priority strengths are consideration, reliability, flexibility and altruism.

Considerationrefers to being cooperative and willing to volunteer where you can make a difference. This is the time to be peacemakers, rather than to stir strife and unnecessary conflict. The greatest culprits in stirring discord are fake news and political rhetoric while people’s lives are at stake.

Reliability brings faithfulness to the foreground. We need the tenacity not to give up, to be persistent in doing what is necessary and the willingness to change. This is dependability with loyalty and predictability.

Flexibility links to the willingness to change because this allows personal growth and contentment. In other words, being diplomatic and happy to go along with change involving minimal stress.

Altruism is the generosity and self-motivation to make your community a better place. Helping others to feel loved and lovable. Motivating other people to learn and grow towards a better future.

The most important aspects for me to live a fulfilling life at this moment is holding on to the hope and staying rooted in my relationship with God. I am also grateful for my loved ones and friends.  (Dr Barbara Louw 2020)

Book your online or in-person appointment today

How to get the most out of a counselling session?

You’ve taken the step to schedule your first appointment with Dr Barbara Louw. You may be nervous or worried you might not know what to do when you get to her office or connect online.

You have all these thoughts running through your head like, “Will she judge me? Will she believe me? Can she understand my dilemmas?  Will it help?” You consider postponing the appointment, but you’re in a crisis or trying to prevent more trauma.

 Maak aanlyn of in-persoon afspraak vanadag nog

Hope is real, even in the presence of pain and uncertainty.

Amid daunting medical diagnoses, hope stands resolute, a beacon amid the storm. Though pain may linger, and uncertainty loom large, it's vital to grasp the glimmer of hope. It's a resilient force, reminding us of the possibility beyond the present struggle, and guiding us toward brighter days ahead.

So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to bloom. Together, we can transform pain into resilience, darkness into light, and thorns into roses. Welcome to a space where your story is not just heard but cherished—a sanctuary where you can bloom, unapologetically, amidst the thorns.

Blessings

Dr Barbara Louw

Do you feel you need to talk to someone outside your home? Book a personal counselling session online or in person in Pretoria.

"I am not broken; I am recovering."

There's nothing quite as uplifting and beautiful as witnessing someone rediscover themselves. A medical diagnosis or procedure can leave you feeling utterly shattered and lost. The emotions are raw, and the challenges seem insurmountable. Coping with the news, medical uncertainties, symptoms, medication side effects, and invasive intrusions into your personal space—it's a heavy burden to bear.

Yet, amidst it all, you still have a choice. You can choose to tenderly nurture your heart. Yes, now is the time to establish healthy boundaries, allowing yourself the space to find balance and heal. Recovery is about prioritizing your well-being, one moment at a time. It's a gradual journey, filled with small steps and daily commitments until you find the strength to extend that care into each passing hour, each new day.

On those tough days, remember, the sun will rise again tomorrow. If I could, I'd gift you sunshine and stardust to brighten your path. For now, I'll offer my prayers—prayers for your renewed wholeness and wellness as you navigate this season of vulnerability and fragility.

You are not broken; you are brave. Stronger than you ever imagined. 

We are Breakthrough Champions - Empowering your journey - Celebrating your victory!

Blessings

Dr Barbara Louw

Personal Counselling Appointments: In-person andOnline.

I am your breakthrough champion who demystifies trauma and crises because life is about more than solving problems. Life is a journey with many ups and downs as well as detours and exit roads.

Going for counselling can be an unnerving prospect in any situation where you haven’t defined your problem in your own words. The first question you can ask yourself is might I benefit from trying counselling? The answer is an unequivocal YES if you are experiencing one or more of the following awareness:

• The constant feeling of being overwhelmed
• You can’t seem to stop making self-defeating choices
• You might be stuck in a frustrating rut
• You are caught in a place where nothing you’ve done before seems to have helped
• You feel like nobody understands
• You are riding an emotional rollercoaster
• You crave a new perspective

• In My Rose Garden

  

  In My Rose Garden is an uplifting blog to encourage and inspire people who have gone through serious medical procedures, such as amputation, mastectomy or lumpectomy, and life-changing diagnoses, such as cancer or strokes. They are on the way to recovery but the road ahead is uncertain and scary.

• Jy mag “nee” sê

   

  

   

  Hallo Nadia

  Soms droom ʼn mens van ʼn lewe vry van die malle gejaag van die stadslewe en verpligtinge wat geen einde het nie.

  As jy dan die geleentheid het om vir ʼn oomblik stil te sit, al is dit by die rooi verkeerslig, besef jy dat jy nie eers weet hoe die sogenaamde verpligting op jou skouers beland het nie.

  Op daardie oomblik besef jy dat jy alewig instem om goed te doen, sonder om eers na te dink oor die implikasies daarvan.

• Keuses, keuses...

  

  Keuses, keuses…

  Hallo Nadia

  Hier in Pretoria het ons weer van winter na somer gespring. Dit lyk of lente oorgeslaan is.

  Is daar dae wat dit vir jou voel asof dit moeite is om keuses te maak? Om aan te pas tussen die reëls rondom die verskillende vlakke van die COVID-19-inperkinge en om ‘n vlak van voorspelbaarheid in die lewe te ontdek moes ‘n mens vreeslik baie keuses maak.

• Medical Trauma - An Introduction Article

  

  Medical Trauma

  Medical traumatic stress encompasses a spectrum of psychological and physical reactions experienced by patients and their loved ones in response to pain, injury, serious illness, medical procedures, and unsettling treatment encounters. It's the deeply personal aftermath that unfolds, triggering a cascade of complex negative emotions and physiological responses.

  The symptoms of medical trauma can manifest in various forms and intensities, including:

  - A dread of medical environments or personnel

  - Physical discomforts like pain, sweating, or nausea

  - Persistent negative thoughts revolving around the traumatic experience

  - Emotional detachment and avoidance of certain situations

  - Feelings of agitation, anger, anxiety, depression, or tearfulness

  - A pervasive sense of helplessness and invisibility

  This reaction can stem from the overwhelming stress preceding or following a challenging diagnosis, procedure, or treatment. Our hectic lifestyles often compound the issue, leaving little time for proper emotional processing alongside physical recovery.

  I understand that every patient's deepest fears revolve around feeling dehumanized and losing control. In my counselling practice, I provide a safe haven for you to share your experiences, feelings, and concerns openly. Here is no preconceived judgment, and there are no rigid expectations or deadlines dictating your healing journey.

  When I explain medical trauma, I am grateful for all the wonderful medical personnel and caregivers who step up to assist patients in these adverse circumstances. These helpers are like angels who try to make sense of symptoms, words and visual signs to offer the best of their abilities. They are the people who walk in when others would rather hide or walk out. Medical personnel often suffer from vicarious trauma because they are human too.

  Together, we work towards lightening the emotional load by addressing unwanted feelings and learning to direct the inevitable ebbs and flows. We also look at the burdensome expectations and labels imposed upon you without your consent, empowering you to reclaim your story and sense of belonging.

  So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to bloom. Together, we can transform pain into resilience, darkness into light, and thorns into roses. Welcome to a space where your story is not just heard but cherished—a sanctuary where you can bloom unapologetically amidst the thorns.

  Blessings

  Dr Barbara Louw

  Make an appointment today – online or in person.

  Request daily inspiration

  

  This article is available in Afrikaans: Mediese Trauma In 'n Neutedopin Hallo Nadia Webjoernaal
  

  Another article is Medical Trauma Leaves You Feeling Voiceless

• Returning to counselling after a break

  

  Returning to counselling after a break

  Like any journey, your therapeutic journey may have starts and stops, highs and lows, departures and returns. Sometimes unexpected changes in life force you to pause the counselling and coaching for wellness. Perhaps you wanted a break to focus on another part of your life.

  Once you are ready to return to counselling, you might wonder how you should go about it. What should you say to your counsellor? “I’m back” doesn’t feel like enough. The principles and care that brought you to Dr Barbara Louw in the first place are still effective.

  Ultimately, your counsellor is not going to judge or reprimand you for taking a break.